Becoming a new mother is a massive life change. Suddenly, you’re responsible for a little human who can’t do anything for himself, and it feels like there’s so much you can get wrong along the way. Everything is affected. Seriously, there’s not one part of your life that isn’t changed by the fact you now have a child. It can be completely overwhelming.
The biggest question is often how to cope.
When you’re deep in the throes of sleepless nights or teething toddlers, it’s easy to lose sight of a very important fact: you are not alone. Almost all moms have experienced the very same things at some point, I promise. And, newsflash: they are just as common with your fourth child as your first!
Don’t be surprised, and don’t be dismayed. Here are a few of the most common challenges you’ll face and some practical suggestions for how to face them.
Feeling Fatigued
Even the most sleep-friendly of babies will have you up multiple times throughout the night. There are days during this sleep-deprived stage, that you wonder if you’ll ever feel rested again.
As the wise man once said, “This too shall pass.”
Once your baby gets a bit older and starts treating sleep in the same way as the rest of us, you’ll be able to get a full night once again. Until that time, it’s best to practice your sleep hygiene whenever you can. Nap when that new baby does! Say no to things that aren’t necessary. And give yourself some grace.
Feeling Like Your Emotions are on the Edge
Giving birth is a very traumatic ordeal, and not just for your body either. Your mental health can be tipped to either end of the scale, and even when you’re sure you’re the happiest new mother in the world, you’re going to have ‘blue’ days too.
This can be a normal part of having a baby, but it’s also something you should talk about with people who can support and care for you. Don’t suffer in silence, even if it means you have to find the time to start a support group of your own.
My son was a year old before I talked to someone about the way I was feeling. By then, postpartum depression had a stronghold on me. Might I have avoided it if I had opened up sooner? Who knows? But I do know that I wouldn’t have been alone with my thoughts and fears for so long, and that would have made it easier.
Don’t do like I did. Reach out and get in touch with people who know what you’re going through, have some perspective to share, and can lift you back up. And, if you need counseling or medical help…get it! I will always be thankful I did.
Feeling Pulled All Over the Place
As new parents, and new mothers in particular, we feel like so much is expected of us. We’ve got new babies to take care of, and while we’re happy to do so, the laundry still needs doing, the dinner needs cooking, and we’ve still got to find the time to go and get groceries.
No wonder we’re exhausted! This feeling of being pulled in every direction can make mental health after giving birth so much worse, so be sure to delegate, ask for and accept help, and try to let go of those smaller tasks that really can wait until later. A sweet lady at my church came and sat with me and folded my laundry while I fed the twins. I’ll never forget it, and I am so glad I let her because we had a sweet visit and made a lasting memory.
Whichever of these challenges for new mothers you’re facing today, please remember you’re not alone. One of my favorite verses in all of scripture is this:
“He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” Isaiah 40:11
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