Do you ever feel ignored? Unappreciated? UNLOVED? Today, I want you to know that the God of the whole universe is paying attention to you; he’s listening and looking on in love. Find out how you can rest in and fully rely on his love today!
When I was a young, single woman, I read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I had heard so many people recommend it, and while I look back at it now and see that it is full of insight, at the time, reading that book wrecked me.
I’m not kidding, y’all.
I read it from cover to cover, turning each page and expecting to find my love language.
By the end of the book, I had come to the obvious conclusion that I didn’t have one.
You can laugh, but I cried and cried because I wondered how would I ever feel loved and accepted if none of the love languages spoke to me consistently.
Some days, words of affirmation made me feel loved; other days, not so much.
Gifts? Sure…if you chose the right thing.
Physical touch? To a degree, but anyone who knows me personally will tell you quickly I am not a “touchy-feely” kind of girl.
Acts of service? Absolutely, unless I’d rather you tell me something or give me something or spend time with me.
Which brought me to quality time and another dead end.
All of the sudden I realized that it’s no wonder I always felt less loved as a child. No one could possibly make me feel loved. I didn’t have a love language!
Thankfully, even though I was young, God had given me a bit more wisdom than I really deserved so I knew where to take my questions.
I took them straight to him.
How Learning My Love Language Set Me Free
Pouring out my heart and more than a few tears, I told him how afraid I was that I would never be able to accept love or give it properly, and he spoke gently back to me.
He showed me that just because none of the love languages outlined in that particular book was my primary language doesn’t mean I lack one altogether. In fact, through prayer and looking at my life I realized something.
My love language is simple, and it encompasses all of the others.
Simply pay attention to me.
That sounds terrible coming from a 40-year-old woman, but it’s as true of me today as it was when I was two and telling my mom to “Watch me! Watch me!”
You see, if you pay attention to me, you’ll know when I need an encouraging word or some quality time or a hug or whatever else may be. Just pay attention to me!
I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’m a second child or a second child with three younger sisters, but I feel like I’ve been begging for attention my whole life. Realizing that I feel most loved when I am convinced that someone is paying attention to me was one of the most enlightening things I’ve ever learned about myself.
It set me free.
I know, you’re probably wondering how that’s possible. Doesn’t it mean that I’m always looking for my husband to pay attention? What about my kids? What do I do when they just drown me out with other things?
Well, one of the pieces of wisdom God gave me way back then was the realization that no one could ever make me feel loved consistently. My poor husband! Can you imagine what his life would be like if I expected him to pay attention to me all the time? Good grief! I’d be miserable if I thought the fact he doesn’t realize I want to sleep in on Saturdays means he doesn’t love me.
No one can (or should) pay that much attention to me.
So I stopped expecting them to. I didn’t realize I’d been putting that kind of pressure on the people who loved me or that I was very simply setting them up for failure.
Because here’s the truth: no matter what your love language is, there is only one who will always speak it to you.
Here's the truth: no matter what your love language is, there is only one who will always speak it to you. Click To Tweet
Even then, I knew that if I was going to live like I was loved, I was going to have to lean fully on love that never fails.
Maybe you’re like me and need new confidence in God’s love for you today. Read on to find 5 reasons you can rely on his love!
5 Reasons You Can Be Confident in God’s Love for You
God Speaks My Love Language
Maybe you’re like me, and you struggle to feel like anyone notices you. You may be absolutely sure they don’t.
If so, I want to share with you the fact that God pays attention to you.
The God of the entire universe, the one who knows each star by name, knows the exact number of hairs on your head.
Just sit and think about that for a moment.
I have really thick hair, and it tends to fall out all the time. Honestly, if you were to look in the shower after I leave it, you’d think I’m losing my hair. You probably couldn’t even count the number of hairs going down the drain.
But God can. In fact, he knows exactly how many hairs I have on my head before I brush it and after.
Jesus said, “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7)
Let me ask you this: If God pays close enough attention to you to know the number of hairs on your head, what do you think he will miss?If God pays close enough attention to you to know the number of hairs on your head, what do you think he will miss? Click To Tweet
God is in the Details
One of my twins asked me a very profound question today. She asked if God could tell the two of them apart.
“Does he know which one I am?” she said.
Immediately I answered, “Do I?”
She laughed because of course I do! (Although sometimes I do have to ask them to turn around and look at me so I’m absolutely sure who I’m talking to. From the back, it’s a bit harder to tell!)
I asked her if her daddy knows the difference. She laughed again.
Her brother piped up and said, “We all know which one you are!”
“Because we know you,” I said, “we know what makes you different, though you look the same, but God knows even more about you. He created you. God knows the tiny details we can’t even dream of knowing about each one of you. He could never be confused.”
Y’all, God knows you, too. He is very big. The world is his footstool, but God’s not too big to notice you or the details of your life. Just look at Psalm 139, and you’ll find a list of things God notices.
According to Psalm 139, God:
- knows when you sit and when you rise. Y’all, every time I get out of my chair to help one of my kids get another glass of water, he notices.
- discerns your going out and your lying down. Every single Walmart run. It’s on his radar, and so are you.
- is familiar with ALL YOUR WAYS. My husband might wonder what I do all day, but God doesn’t. He knows.
- knows your words BEFORE YOU SPEAK THEM. You don’t have to wonder if he’s listening. He knows what you’re going to say before you say it.
- goes before you and comes after you. He protects you and provides.
- knows you inside and out. He created your body and saw you being formed. There’s nothing about you he doesn’t know.
And he loves you completely anyway.There's nothing about you God doesn't know, and he loves you completely anyway. Click To Tweet
God Sees Your Struggles
His love for you causes him to incline his ear to hear your prayers. He knows when you are hurting, too. There have been times in my life when I have wondered if anyone cares about the way that I feel.
Don’t think for one moment that God doesn’t.
Psalm 56:8 says, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” (New Living Translation)
There is not a tear I’ve cried that he hasn’t kept track of, and he answers when I call because he listens to his people.
In Isaiah 38, we see a king at the point of death, crying out to the Lord, and the Lord responded, “I have heard your prayers and seen your tears.” (v. 5)
If you are facing sorrow, I want you to know that he notices. You are not alone in your grief because “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
God Knows Your Needs
Some days, I think the only way I could get my family to notice my needs is to stand on the kitchen table and scream until they do. I feel like my son at his Upward Basketball game, jumping up and down under the goal, yelling “I’m open! I’m open!” No one seems to notice.
That’s why I take comfort in these words of Christ: “Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” (Matthew 6:8)
I’ve seen evidence of this in my own life, haven’t you? The first time I went back to Kenya to begin working with women there I was worried about sending a payment needed for the trip. Though we had the money I needed to send, I was sending $200 more than I felt comfortable with, knowing our family would be under a strain because of it. I went to the post office and mailed the check then checked our mail. A friend had sent me a check for $200 to help with the cost of the trip.
God knew the need, and he met it.
He knows your needs, too.
God Sees What You Do Each Day
Some days, what I really need is simply for someone to notice what I did that day. It might be something as small as mopping the floor or something much more monumentous.
I want to know it mattered to someone.
How about you? Do you ever just think: “What’s the point? No one will notice anyway.”
I have been there, and I want to remind you that “your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15:58)
There may be things no one notices; other things you might do in private that no one else ever sees.
“For all your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths.” (Proverbs 5:21)
Matthew 6:4 tells us that God sees what’s done in secret. He knows your deeds, good and bad. It matters what you do each day.
That’s helpful to remember when the serving of others gets old, isn’t it? They don’t always notice; often, they don’t care. At those times, remember “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.” (Hebrews 6:10)
I’d love to hear from you about what it means to you to know that God notices you, that he’s paying attention to you and to the details of your life. I’d also love it if you’d join us for Encouraging Word Wednesday by leaving a link or two!
Michele Morin says
Hi, Charlie! My sons have never read the 5 Love Languages, but a few years ago, they nailed my love language for mother’s day with the best gift I ever received: a truck load of bark mulch, and they spread it on all my flower beds. Yup, I’m an acts of service girl, and it’s a wonderful challenge to learn and honor the love languages of my family members.
Thanks for sharing your enlightening experience with this!
What a wonderful gift! So glad you stopped by and, as always, so thankful for your encouragement!
Sarah Geringer says
What a beautiful post, Charlie. One of my favorites that you have written. Sharing it today!
Thank you, Sarah! That means so much to me!
Loved this post! What an awesome God we have that knows this much about us! Sharing to my Facebook page!
Thank you, Julie! He is so good, too!
Rachel Lee says
This is beautiful and SO very needed by SO many! I especially love the part about God being in the details! Yes! <3 What a good and loving Father we serve!
I'm not sure how I've not come across your site before, but I'm so glad that I did today! (I even joined the link-up)!
Nice to meet you Charlie!
Sharing this on Twitter today. 🙂
Thank you, Rachel! I’m so glad to meet you! Thank you for sharing!
Such an awesome post. It’s interesting because I’ve been praying to the lord a lot about Love lately. And for so many years I’ve looked for love from others and recently He just poured so much of his into. I feel so at peace for once in my life. God’s Love is greater than man. God bless you ❤️
Donna Reidland says
Charlie, I really needed this today. You have no idea! Thanks for sharing and hosting this week.
Donna, I am so glad! Thank you for letting me know. It means so much to me!